Deshperate in Dhaka
February 9, 2012 | Grace, DVM, AUCC, Bangladesh(introductory aside: the title of this entry comes from a Facebook group for foreigners living in Dhaka, and is not really representative of the entry. I just find it really funny).
Oh, Dhaka. What is there to write about you that hasn’t been said countless times before? Any phrase I formulate in an attempt to sum up this city sounds trite and cliched. Dhaka cannot be summed up in a single phrase; a full page couldn’t cover it, and anything I write sounds like a cheesy Lonely Planet introduction (“We can’t guarantee you’ll fall for Dhaka’s many charms, but sooner or later you will start to move to its beat, and when that happens Dhaka stops being a terrifying ride and starts becoming a cauldron of art and intellect, passion and poverty, love and hate. Whatever happens, this is one fairground ride you’ll never forget”). Dhaka is a hard city to like, and an even harder city to live in. Dhaka is noisy –the sound of horns permeate the air constantly, especially on major roads. Cars do not signal, rickshaws cannot signal, buses with people spilling out of windows and doors swerve terrifyingly down the road, and 2-lane traffic easily becomes 4 or 5. And so the horns and bells ring constantly. Dhaka is dirty – litter lines the sides of the roads, fills the lakes, and hides in every corner. The air is heavy with dirt and dust, and sometimes I feel like I’m walking in a dreamy haze as I explore the city, albeit one in which I could be hit by a speeding car, rickshaw, or CNG at any moment. Other times, my throat aches after a late-night CNG ride, most of which is spent in an unmoving traffic jam, and I imagine it lined with dust and dirt.
Though CNG’s (which stand for the compressed natural gas that they run on) feel somewhat safer than rickshaws, my usual means of transportation, they also involve sitting in a loud, locked, rattling cage on wheels, and leave me at mouth-level with any exhaust pipes I happen to be fortunate enough to pull up beside and sit next to for 2-20 minutes. Dhaka is confusing, and sometimes scary; I don’t feel safe here, but whenever I tell that to a local person, they reply “YOU SHOULD.”
Dhaka is fascinating. It is colourful, and boisterous. Curious, and friendly. It is never boring, never quiet, and never dull, and I have never been so warmly welcomed to a place before in my life. On a visit to a nearby village, nearly everyone we met invited us into their homes, offered us food, handed us their babies, and cared for us as though we were family. I have run out of money while grocery shopping in one of the city’s main markets, and had the vendor tell me “pay next time, I trust you.” My co-workers have quickly made me feel welcome, inviting me over for dinner and on trips to show me the rest of the country. People are so encouraging and proud of my elementary knowledge of the Bangla language that I feel like a child learning their first words whenever I speak it. My co-workers boast about my Bangla skills to people we meet, and have me say a few words to show me off, like a proud parent. I usually go with “Ami Bangla jani na” (I don’t know Bangla), which is always met with even MORE undeserved praise. It’s also a helpful line to use when men leer at me in the streets and markets, and use the bits of English they know to try to
start a conversation, or ask for my phone number or ‘Facebook ID’ - except I go with “Ami English jani na.”
My internship is with ICDDR,B (the International Centre for Diarrhoeal Disease Research, Bangladesh), and I love it. I am working on a small part of a big project that is seeking to examine health-seeking habits of the urban poor and health care facilities available to them, in 7 slums across the city. Every day I learn
something new, as I participate in stakeholder analysis, literature reviews, focus groups and field visits. I’m lucky that I enjoy my work; being in an office for 40 hours a week while my friends are out exploring the city and travelling the country would otherwise be a discouraging experience, and though I do enjoy it, it’s been a hard adjustment (oh student/ barista life, how I miss your flexibility and lazy days!).
With each passing day, life in Dhaka gets a little bit easier. I am renting an apartment with two friends, and we are slowly learning how to live here (this includes being bed-ridden with illness my second weekend here, moving into a filthy apartment, but feeling mostly gratitude that we finally found one landlord in a city of 150 million who was willing to rent to 3 foreign women, as well as boiling every bit of water that runs from the taps before using it, dealing with a creepy caretaker who rings our doorbell incessantly
despite our pointed avoidance of him, and navigating the bustling nearby market every day to buy our groceries, where we playfully bargain with vendors, who in turn playfully rip us off). This is a city you have to work to like. Some days, I am so pleased to be here I can’t imagine being anywhere else, and make grand life plans that have me living here in a few years time and somehow suddenly being incredibly qualified, experienced and useful to an organization like ICDDR,B, (to which I will realistically never be able to offer any skills more valuable than someone here already can). Other days, I indulge myself with daydreams of being on the next flight back to Ottawa, where the streets are clean, the sidewalks aren’t ridden with
potholes, and I can take a leisurely stroll with almost no fear of being run over by a speeding car, blaring it’s horn at me and driving down the wrong side of the road, leaving me to jump back into a family of 5 on the back of a 3 wheel rickshaw, or a pile of cow crap, or a person begging for money, laying next to the street and looking at my imploringly.
My experience in Dhaka is, of course, in no way representative of what life is like for the majority of the population here. I live in a position of incredible privilege in the city, while more than half of the population lives on less than $2 a day. Navigating this city while steeped in such privilege comes with many dilemmas, and much discomfort and guilt, and I am often at a loss as to how to deal with it properly. Maybe there really isn’t a proper way. I am trying to be kind and generous, but nothing I can offer is enough, and it’s hard not to get discouraged. This is especially difficult for me when it comes to street children; refusing money to a child living in poverty is a horrible, horrible feeling, however I am constantly warned never to give money, as many people believe that the children work for brokers of some type who make a business of sending children out to collect money, and treat the kids horribly. Most often, I hand out food I’m carrying in my bag, or take them to the nearest shop and let them pick a treat. Sometimes, though, I’m exhausted, uncomfortable, hot and dehydrated (probably exactly how they are feeling too), and I walk right past them. It’s disheartening to realize how quickly something – or someone – no matter how upsetting, can become more part of the scenery with every passing day. Despite all of this, things are going
rather well, and I generally enjoy the challenges and adventures I face most days. And if I do have a bad day, I am fortunate enough to come home to a bottle of clean water to quench my thirst, a fridge full of food (ok, mostly mango juice and chocolate) to fill my stomach, 4 locks on my door to keep out my creepy caretaker, and HBO on my TV to numb my brain. Oh, Dhaka. You’re not so bad after all.